Saturday, October 10, 2015

What really matters?

I find that I often worry about and focus my attention on things that don't really matter in life. Something that I have been reminded about often in the past few weeks is the reality that "when I say 'yes' to something I am saying 'no' to many other things." For example, it is almost 9pm on Saturday evening and I am choosing to blog about my thoughts. There is a lot of other things I could be doing. I could be cleaning up the house. Doing dishes... getting ready for tomorrow, but I've chosen to write this blog and get my thoughts down.

So what's important in life? One thing I know is important is my relationships with my family. I know that when I'm on my death bed, I won't be too concerned about the petty things, but developing strong relationships will be top on my list.

I so often worry about what other people think. This is silly because if I just try to make others happy I won't be able to do that and I'll be miserable myself. Not a good plan.

My life mission is to eliminate the stigma of mental health and suicide. I'm still working to figure out how I can work with others who have the same mission. I do know that being willing to talk about the reality that I lost my brother to suicide 13 years ago is a start.

This desire is personal and professional. I know what it was like for me to go through the grieving process (and I'm still grieving as I was reminded this afternoon at a funeral of a 13 year old girl that I never met who took her life). I want to be there for those who are struggling with these difficulties. I'm not afraid to talk about suicide and depression.

I've reached out to my church to support the youth group and those who are struggling to make sense of this sudden loss. I don't have all the answers, but I have an understanding that can only happen through personal experience. Please reach out to me and I can connect you with resources in your area (if you're not in the Harrisburg/Hershey area).

Thanks for reading. I am writing a book about my experience of losing my brother to suicide 13 years ago. I put it down so that I could focus on supporting my family through the birth of my second child (both daughters). I am almost ready to get back to it.

Thanks for reading and let me know how I can help you.

Life is short at a funeral

What type of legacy am I leaving?

What really matters?  I find that I often worry about things that don't even matter.

Together we can make a difference and eliminate the stigma related to mental health and suicide.


Wednesday, October 7, 2015

thoughts... about losing my brother to suicide (13 years ago)

Last year I officially started the process of writing my book Sibling Suicide: Journey From Despair to Hope. The purpose of this book is to share my journey through losing my brother to depression. Brian was my only sibling and he took his life July 25, 2002. I put the book on hold due to my family expanding. It is almost time for me to pick it back up and make the necessary additions and revisions so I can share my story with you.

If you know anyone who has recently had a suicide loss please give them my information. I would love to talk with them and share the hope that I have. I am a better person as a result of making lemonade out of the lemons.

The result of losing my brother to suicide I also experienced my parents divorce. There are some tangible things that I did and I want to share that with you.

My thought is that I will create a short .pdf or e-book to share some of my best tips or suggestions.

If you want/need to talk to someone about this, please reach out to me at wagnercounselingservices@gmail.com

Thanks!