Sunday, January 25, 2015
I'm making awesome progress on my manuscript. This is been an incredible experience. I am learning a lot about myself through it. I have a huge amount of work to do before next Monday, Feb 2, 2015. This is my self-imposed due date for the manuscript to be as complete as possible. I will be sending it to my editor. I am super excited about this. My book is going to be my primary focus this week. Since I blogged last I discovered that my niche for my practice is going to be based on my book. This is very scary, but also very exciting at the same time. There is such need for sibling suicide support.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Why am I so sad?
Specific lessons learned:
- I just lost my only sibling to suicide. How else would I feel?
- This would take a while to go through, but that I would be stronger on the other side of the grief.
Why do I have to go through this?
Specific lessons learned/insight:
- This really is not for me to know the answer.
- A possible answer is to help others in similar situations through counseling.
How do I cope with this?
- I take it a day at a time and I process things daily.
- I provide myself with opportunity to relax.
- Exercise, journaling, and being willing to express emotions to friends.
How can I minister to others when I feel so needy myself? Why does life have to be so hard? Why does this have to be so painful?
- Take care of myself before taking care of others. Don’t try to have all the answers; just be with people.
- No one ever said life would be easy.
- I won’t feel this way forever.
Why do I hate life so much?
- It’s probably more that I’m just so confused about life and that life is not going the way I wanted.
Why do I not understand?
- I don’t understand because I’m not meant to completely understand.
- Life is tough and I do not understand at this moment, but clarity takes time.
Why does it seem like my faith is not strong enough to get through this?
- I never went through anything like this before so I did not know how to handle things.
- This does not mean that my faith is not strong enough; it just means that I need to rely on my relationship with God and others more.
Why didn’t I know Brian better?
- He did not let me. I tried very hard by doing things that he liked, but he never let me truly into his life.